The problem I have is a steady surrender. When I do surrender every thought, every doubt, every concern or worry, it is taken from me, as He promises. When I CHOOSE (because yes, it is a choice) to dwell on the doubts, negative thoughts, & worries, it only provides more space between me and God. If I want to walk with Him, closer to Him daily, then I have to set my mind on things eternal. I have to make a choice each and every time to capture my thoughts and hand it over to the Lord.
Wednesday was a rough day. My mom left on Monday and I was trying to come up with a plan to rest, all the while feeling nothing but guilt for my household. The babies were running around like wild animals with no direction or structure, Trent and Macey were attempting school work but constantly distracted by the "wild animals". So, immediate stress set in. I am just laying around watching the family crumble! I can't do bed rest, its impossible! I had a list of reasons in that moment why I deserved to stress out, and needed to get up and be a mom, clean the house, take care of the kids, bed rest just isn't going to work...
Then, something really neat happened. I started to get text messages from dear friends out of the blue, phone calls out of the blue from dear friends. They were all just calling or texting cause I was on their heart. They just wanted to let me know they were praying for me, thinking about me, wondering if there was anything they could do for me (tears started flowing). I didn't respond to all the phone calls and texts (sorry) because I was overwhelmed with God's goodness in that moment. I was ready to get up and throw in the towel and instead I was encouraged by the people that love me to hang in there, that I have support (I just need to learn to ask for help). God was surrounding me in that moment with His people to lift me up out of the pit, even when I had made the choice to grumble and stress.
One of those texts included the following verses from a dear friend. She has been where I have been and chose to meditate on scripture through these times. I wanted to share it because most of the time we read a part of scripture, but stop before the good part! That is what I have done with both of these scriptures and until my friend texted me the entire passage, I only saw part of it, and I liked it, but never read any further.
For you formed my inward parts; you knit me together in my mother's womb.
I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.
My frame was not hidden from you when I was being made in secret,
intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them,
the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.
(Psalm 139:13-16 ESV)
Sure, I love Psalm 139, most people know that one, but stop at being fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well; That part I must have missed before, and verse 16, he already knows everyday, they have already been written! That should immediately eliminate any stress or worry, cause God's got this! He has had this from BEFORE day 1 :)
Rejoice in the Lord always, again I will say, Rejoice.
Let your reasonableness be known to everyone.
The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.
And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding,
will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
(Philippians 4:4-7 ESV)
Then I read on to Philippians 4 and of course, I know that verse very well too, but have never read on. I stop at Rejoice in the Lord always, again I will say Rejoice. Like it is a command and it stops there, but it doesn't. The Lord is at hand, He is here, he wants me to come to Him in prayer and thanksgiving and I am promised His peace, His protection!
This year I am reading through the bible with an AMAZING group of friends, whom I KNOW the Lord placed intentionally in my life. I am learning through reading, to keep on reading. Don't just go to what you know, there is something new to be found no matter how much you think you may know about the bible.
It is a daily battle, a daily surrender, but a choice. A choice that I am going to have to make every moment, but I also am promised a peace that only comes from my maker.
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