Another Day, Another Goal

Yes! Today I am 32 weeks pregnant and still going strong. I am not sure if strong is the word, I am actually trying not to grow weary...

I am so excited to be 32 weeks and still pregnant, that goes without saying. It's actually a miracle, I have NEVER been this far along without either having been admitted to the hospital for preterm labor or already delivered a baby. Its a huge deal! I know that for most women who have been pregnant, they have no idea how this must feel. In fact, a majority of my girlfriends never go into labor on their own, they are always induced into labor. Most women do not have to take it easy at all when they are pregnant. I, however, cannot lift, bend, twist, cough, sneeze or laugh without having a contraction, ha! Anyway, bedrest is paying off for this little man and he seems to be very happy in this belly:)

I am growing tired of my lifestyle though. I am tired of laying around all day, tired of watching people clean while I read, I feel like Cinderella's step sister! Cinderella! Cinderella!

Today I should be sooo happy, but I am sad. I just feel helpless to my kids, my husband, my friends and my family.

So, after having a bad morning, and realizing that I couldn't even escape to go anywhere to breathe, I did escape to my screened in porch and read for about 3 hours. I read parts of a great book called Kisses from Katie, so far its a sweet story about a young girl who is living in Uganda and teaching. I am only to the part where she is describing Uganda and already I want to get back to that place, to those people, to that culture. Then I picked up and started reading through my bible plan. I was a few days behind (sorry ladies) and had a chance to just sit and read. I am in Matthew, Mark, Luke & John right now since I am reading through chronologically, it skips through many books at a time. I am so overwhelmed by the life of Jesus! I have so many new questions about his life and how he was treated both good and terrible. Our church happens to be doing a new sermon series called Epic and I am so pumped about it for many reasons. Most of my Old Testament questions are being answered every week and in a few weeks, I KNOW Jimmy will answer my New Testament questions. I love how God orchestrated my decision to read through the bible with Jimmy's sermons this year, ha!!

My point, yes, my point... I had to break out of my flesh, to gain a different perspective and I could not do that while sitting in my sorrows. By going just outside onto my porch, I was far enough removed to refocus, confess my terrible, no good attitude and then see that the Lord IS good to me, even when I am not seeing it cause I am too busy enjoying my sinful nature. In fact, it was just yesterday that I blogged about how thankful I was for all my help and support throughout this pregnancy and not even 24 hours later I am complaining?!

So I had to say all of that to say currently I am reminded that I could be in the hospital, but I am not. I could have a very tiny, sick baby in intensive care, but I don't. I may have a small mess in my house, our schedule may be non existent right now, my kids may be learning to take advantage of bedrest too, but this is all so temporary. In a few short months, I will have a miracle, a new life. Our family will slowly return to what it should be, my kids will be normal again (I pray), and all of this stress will be a memory. It's my job to make sure that the memories are sweet, and that I don't sour them with my stinky attitude. I needed to get into the word, to read about the wonderful character and love of my Jesus and then see that I needed an eternal perspective. I needed to break away and read about an amazing young women who at a young age rid herself of all of her earthly luxuries to reach the poor, the orphaned, even if only one came to know Jesus, that would be enough for her, WOW!

There is a song that I just love! Some of the lyrics say: "We're giving it all away, away! We're giving it all to go Your way!" That's what I did! I gave it all away, to go His way, not mine :)